2003-10-11 - 10:53 p.m.

Yes, I am back. No, I am not dead.

I took a lot of pills that nite, and I went to the ER the next morning. My Mom tried to wake me up for school, and I didn't wake up...so she rushed me to the hospital. I was really fucked up. I didn't wake up until Friday morning...Everything is a blur.

I was in intensive care...which was really freaky because I had nurses breathing down my throat every 2 seconds. I was hooked up to so many things, I could barely move in my bed...

I had councillors going in and out of my room. Nurses were bitching at me because I didn't want to eat anything. They also woke me up at like 6 am to weigh me...WTF...who does that? I could barely move I was so weak, and they get me outta bed so they can see how much I weigh. I had a fuckin Catheter up my crotch, and an IV bag....*cries* I am remembering the pain.

I haven't eaten since Thursday...not much anyway...but I haven't really moved from my bed either. I feel like death. I can barely get up without feeling like I'm gonna pass out.

But I brought this upon myself...I guess my body is stronger than I thought it was. I took A LOT of pills its scary.

I would never do that again. Not in a million years. I'm so sick from it all. Maybe I'll talk more about it later. Right now I think I'm gonna sleep. Thanks everyone who cares about me and wrote me notes/emails. I appreciate it.