2003-08-06 - 1:33 p.m.

Sorry I haven't updated in so long. I have been here...I am just...well kind of ashamed of myself. I don't know what to do. I'm getting to a point in my life where nothing is ever good enough, and everthing I do is wrong, and everything I strive for just keeps getting harder and harder to achieve...

ack. Sunday and Monday was a major binge fest, I just said "Fuck it" and went on my mary little way. Then I realized how much I need ana, how much I need to be thin, and how much I could never ever live without her. Enough of this b/ping shit...enough of this pleateau shit I've had it !! I am going to fuckin lose weight already and no one is going to stop me dammit.

Yesterday's calories (Tuesday):

1 small cup of V8 Juice: 50 Cals

3 bites of macarnoi with bread toppings & mouthful of peas and carrots: 50 cals

TOTAL: 100 cals

Today's Calories:

Cup of V8 juice: 50 cals

3 bites of macaroni & cheese: 30 cals

YEAH, THATS MORE FUCKIN LIKE IT .