2003-07-07 - 11:18 p.m.

Ok, so I got my first rude comment on my notes. I was so totally expecting it to happen, it was all in a matter of time. It didn't even make me mad. I found it amusing. But yeah, today I did NOT get the tattoo. Garr. I'm very angry about that. I will explain why in my other dairy. Foodwise, I did ok I guess. I was pretty much forced into eating. But I kind of feel sick right now...like the restricting is sort of kicking in. I went on my first bike ride since like Gr. 6 (pathetic isn't it?) and I practically forgot how!! It was sad. At least I was burning calories. Shows how much I excercise though. Anyway today I had:

2 packets of instant oatmeal 274 cals

2 pieces of toast 200 cals

Apple 85 calories

peanut butter and celery (3) 90 cals

2 crackers & many cups of tea with splenda and milk 55 calories?

TOTAL 704 calories

I think I am going to make a new rule where I know exactly how many calories are taken in. I hate this guessing game. No food unless I am absolutely sure of how many calories it has. I try to round up and everything, but still. You never know...Today was fine, because I knew how many calories I was taking in. Garr. Honestly though, I really need to get with it. I have been having like 500-800 calories a day which sucks major ass. I wanted to keep it down to 200-300 this week. Or maybe I should wait until August to go that strict. I am definitely going hardcore in August because that is a month before school starts and I HAVE to be 90 lbs by then. It's a MUST. I have to go shopping for clothes on August 16th with Vanessa, and I want to be skinny skinny skinny! If I'm not I will just die. I will be the failure everyone thinks I am. I wont let that happen though dammit. I'm good at this, and I can do anything I set my mind too. I will succeed. This diary is going to be the best thinspiration because I will lose so much weight! Just wait and see!