2003-07-06 - 1:30 a.m.

Wow, you know what I realized? When I first started this diary my 2nd goal was 100 lbs and I gave myself till July 23rd to get there. Holy shit. Like, I am 103 lbs right now, and I have a few more pounds and I will have reached that goal. I think I gave myself a lot of time. I have the whole summer! But yeah, I just wanted to play it safe that's all. 90 lbs here I come! I thought I was stuck at a plateau and it would take me ages to lose weight. Apparentally, I was wrong. Yay, don't you love when your wrong in a positive sort of way? So yeah...this is Sunday, so it is Week 2 Day 3 of my diet/anorexic lifestyle. Well, I've been anorexic b4 of course, but we like to say its a "new beginning" or whatever and the cycle starts over and over again. I'm hoping to do something with Geoff tomorrow, which will help me stay busy and not eat. I've noticed that whenever I am at home all day, the more I eat. I hate that, because I'm at home most of the damn time. Grr. Hopefully when I get a job, it will be all good. I can't wait. I am so excited to go to school and show everyone how skinny I have become. I love attention. I really do. But it's because I never get any! I've noticed that the only time I get attention is when I lose weight, but its usually negative attention actually...but still! If someone notices that I have lost weight, It just makes my day. Even if they were talking about me behind my back. I don't give a shit. If they notice, then you KNOW you've lost. That's all that matters. I feel kinda funny today. Haven't had any hunger pains, but I just feel weird. My hands and feet are really cold, and my head feels really heavy, and my neck is kind of numb. Yeah, definitely weird. All well. I can't wait till I go to sleep, and then wake up...I WILL FEEL SO EMPTY. Go me! OH, I got one of those hit counter things to make me feel better...so I can keep track of how many people come on here. It makes me feel a little bit better about my diary, but I'd still love it if people would leave me notes. I want feedback on my dairy. I don't give a shit if its negative, I just want feedback! I haven't got one of those ana haters yet, so I'm looking forward to one of those! I love controversy. Go on, say something...u know u want too...