2003-06-30 - 3:23 p.m.

Reading everyone's dairy has made me really inspired...not because they're losing weight...but because they're not if that makes any sense. Every diary I have been too there is no one who has really been successful with their weight loss after like a year of setting their goal. This really makes me sad. I don't want to be like this. I want to make a goal, and reach it as soon as possible. I know its hard to overcome all the binges, and to get back on track, but I just don't wanna be one of those people who doesn't succeed in accomplishing their goal. I hate my school because all the girls always tell me how fat they are, and how they should lose weight..and then at noon they eat like they haven't eaten in years. Sometimes I wish I could be like that again, but ana has taken over my life the past years. I want to be careless so bad...but then I need anorexia to keep mw safe, and always striving for perfection. There is this one girl who always tells me shes never going to eat, and that shes going to lose all her fat...and then I see her eating more than most of the people there! And THEN she goes around and tells people that she's anorexic, and that she hasn't eaten in days. RIGHT. Honestly, don't shame the anorexic name by doing that. Those of you who don't have to willpower to lose weight, and actually GAIN weight trying to LOSE...don't call yourself anorexic. Because you're not. Come talk to me when you actually shape up and stop eating so fuckin much. I'm sorry for this rant, but it makes me really angry when people do that. Like, I know that I mess up once in a while, but I don't BINGE every fuckin day of my life and still call myself an anorexic. Please don't get offended if you're reading this, because its just my opinion. Not that anyone reads it anyway.

Anyway, so far I've had:

one piece of celery w/peanut butter (30)

apple (40)

Total: 80 calories

My grandma is making sphagetti right now, and I will be forced into eating some of that. But I WONT BINGE. I'm not like that, I can do this. I will write how I did a little bit later.

Oh, yeseterday's excercise:

ABs oF Steel Workout

Richard Simmons Sweatin to the Oldies (hahahahahahaha)

And 8 minute Taebo workout (this was harsh)

I will start putting my excercise on here too, since its kind of an important ingrediant to weight loss. LAter!